I have realized 18 can just sneak up on a parent. So I have created a list of skills I want my kids to have by the age of 18. It is written for them. I will present it printed on fine paper. Each kid will have her/his own copy to keep and I hope for it to be something THEY want for themselves. Something they can complete and feel like they really are ready to go out into the world. It is not just about me teaching them everything, but me being more of a mentor as they work themselves to gain these skills.
So here they are in their initial version. I keep thinking of things, and expect this to grow before I am ready to present it to my oldest.
Skills to Acquire By the Age of 18
____ Self-Respect – Know and
honor your values and principles before anything else. Trust yourself to say and do only what feels
true and honoring. Listen to and respect
the precious voice inside when it feels fearful, reluctant or unsettled. Honor yourself.
____ Goal
Setting - Know how to set goals, large and small, and do small things on a
daily basis to reach them.
____ Critical
Thinking – You can solve problems
through the use of reasoning, and you have the ability to identify flaws in an
argument.
____ Positive Thinking – You can focus on solutions instead of
complaints. You understand that you can
replace negative self-talk with positive.
____ Learning
– You understand the importance of being a perpetual learner. You know how to use current resources to find
information you need. You know how to
find help learning something when you need it.
____ Passion – You practice pursuing your passions and understand that
finding your passion(s) is key to your success and happiness.
____ Problem
Solving – When things aren’t working out for you, when the next step you
should take is not obvious, you know how to find all of the information you
need and evaluate it to find a solution worth trying.
____ Failure
– You are not afraid to fail. You
make the best choices you can and “go for it”.
You try new things. You learn new
skills. When things don’t work out for
you, you reevaluate and try again.
____ Empathy – You know how to stop and see things through the eyes of
others.
____ Listening – You know how to actively
listen to someone so you really understand what they are saying. Waiting for your turn to speak is not
listening.
____ Maintaining
Close Relationships – You understand how to use listening and empathy with
those close to you. You can balance
self-respect and your own needs with the needs of those you care about. You know when to say “no” and insist on
boundaries and when to put others’ needs first.
____ Being
in the Present – You know how to bring your consciousness into the present
moment.
____ Meditation
– You have tried various meditation techniques and identified your
favorites. You are capable of meditating
for ½ hour straight. You understand the
benefits of daily meditation.
____ Self
– Soothing/Care – You are aware of your body and emotions and know when you
need to care for yourself. You don’t use
unhealthy self-soothing techniques (food, drugs, cutting, etc.). You have acquired a “tool box” of techniques
that you find soothing or healing (meditation, hot bath, exercise, reading,
napping, writing, drawing, deep breathing, aromatherapy, talking with a friend,
laughing etc.).
___ Art Of Conversation
– You are comfortable carrying on conversations with people. You know how to focus on others and ask
questions. You use active listening. You act respectfully when disagreeing. You are comfortable expressing your thoughts.
____ Time
Management – You can plan your time well.
You are on time. You don’t
overschedule yourself. You use time
wisely and complete tasks in a timely manner.
____ Risk
Assessment – You don’t do overly risky or dangerous things. You can evaluate the risks of actions vs.
their potential rewards.
____ Auto – You know how
to inflate your tires, check fluids, keep the vehicle clean and bring it in for
maintenance.
____ Laundry
– You know how to launder your own clothes.
____ Cooking
– You have basic cooking skills and can follow a recipe.
____ Cleaning
– You know what, how and how often to clean various parts of the home .
____ Organization
– You have the skills to figure out ways to organize your space, records, and
anything else that needs organizing.
____ Living
Within Your Means – You understand how credit can get you into
trouble. You can budget your money and
save for things you want. You don’t
spend more than you make.
____ Basic
Money Skills – You can manage checking and savings accounts. You can pay your bills. You can write a check and understand steps to
take to help protect your self from identity theft. You understand what a credit score is, what
affects your credit score, and how to monitor it.
____ Frugality
– You know how to shop around for a good deal, to compare between products of different prices and
quality, and to make things last and not waste. You know how to negotiate for a better deal. You can control impulse buying. You understand how much more money you spend
eating out vs. cooking for yourself.
____ Nutrition – You understand which
foods are good for you, which are not-so-good, and which are bad. You understand what a poor diet can do to
your health, your energy and your overall well-being. You try new foods to create a varied diet of
mostly healthy foods you enjoy.
____ Physical
Fitness – You understand the benefits of regular physical activity. You try out new activities to keep fitness
enjoyable. You know how to prioritize
scheduling time for exercise into your day.
____ Health/Sickness
– You know how to treat yourself with natural and over the counter remedies for
basic illnesses. You know when you need
to see a doctor. You know how to
advocate for yourself with your doctor.
____ Social
Graces – You can interact politely in social situations. You have good manners. You can give a solid
handshake – no limp noodles! You understand social etiquettes and can use them
when appropriate. You know how to dress
appropriately for various situations.
____ Grooming
– You have good grooming habits and skills. You can care for your hair, skin and nails. You can style your hair appropriately for
various situations. You know how to
apply make-up well (if applicable). You
brush and floss your teeth every day.
Your clothes are neat and tidy.
____ Sewing
– You have basic sewing skills. You can
at least sew on an button and repair a small tear.
____ Fire!
– You can start a campfire and properly extinguish it. You can safely use gas and charcoal grills.
____ Product
Assembly – You can follow instructions and assemble household items that
need assembly after purchase.
